Were You Raised by A Narcissist?

Jubril Lawal
2 min readJul 10, 2021

If you ask around, many people would say they were raised in a loving, affectionate home. However, if you feel like you love people way more than they love you back, there’s a good chance you were raised by one or two narcissistic parents. Why? I’ll tell you.

When a narcissist has a child, they tend to think they own it because they see that child as an extension of themselves; part of them. They control them, own them, and so on. They don’t have children because they want to create a whole separate human being. They tend to have them because they want to create a mini version of themselves. Because of that, they often force their reality on the child from a very early age.

When you’re a kid, learning how to trust your gut and instinct is key. Narcissistic parents take that away from you. They make you feel like you can’t do a single thing without them. These parents would also often tell the children to follow their lead. Basically, they gaslight you the more you try to be different.

To them, your individuality isn’t real. What you think is shit, and what you feel isn’t worth it. It's only what they think that matters.

Sound familiar?

In these relationships, these kids are expected to give and give and give so much to these parents so everything stays okay and calm.

So, when you have the combination of a kid catering to adults' emotions rather than vice versa and getting their reality and emotions completely and totally suppressed, you get the toxic version of an empath. This is basically a narcissist enabler.

The first step to fixing a problem is admitting the problem. If you find that you relate to this in some way, here’s a piece of advice; stop making so many excuses for shit behavior and convince yourself that it’s love.

It quickly becomes a defense mechanism because you may grow to have the fear of people abandoning you, or being worthless at any point in time.

You might be like whoever the fuck they are, I’m sure they have a great reason or excuse to be a piece of shit. They don’t. Is there ever a good reason to be a piece of shit? Absolutely fucking not.

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Jubril Lawal

Creative writer trying to change the world in my own little way, one word at a time.